Sign up today for the Mesozoic Diet^®! I don’t have the full plan worked out yet (or an associated book to sell to make me money), but so far it consists of eating pancakes shaped like sauropods. The way I figure it: our distant ancestors, ratlike proto-primates that they were, probably would have happily eaten the effigies of the animals that bullied their way into so many ecological niches.

(The sauropod pancake mold, alas, didn’t work as well as I hoped. Part of the blame goes to the Chaff’n’Stuff brand of whole grain pancake mix I used, but the narrowness of the neck part of the mold meant the head had trouble staying on. You may interpret that as you will. In the meantime, I’ll probably use the mold to make cookies, and use my Monkey Gun to take everyone back to the trees.)